Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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