I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize