Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
