I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
