dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
