they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Randomize
