I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize