Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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