if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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