No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
