Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just had sex bonerless
my sisters under your porch take her home
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
