Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
