Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
