I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
thus making me awesome and them whores
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize