Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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