just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
