How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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