Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
