That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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