laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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