Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
