Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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