omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
