Can Purell be used as lube?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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