I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
