look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Randomize
