i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize