it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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