He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
