I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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