Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
