dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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