Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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