i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
