Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
