bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
