Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
