stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
soo... how was my night?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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