belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
