Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I am mentally ready for anal.
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