I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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