I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I have fence marks all over my body
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
