There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
