i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
