i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
operation have a gay friend backfired
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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