so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
