The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
