I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
