So drunk its hurt
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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