We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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