spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Of course I have a pirate flag
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
