So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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