Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
