This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize