remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
