she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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