Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
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