DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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