Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I believe in your delicious
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize