Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
