Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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